But you know, I am much more long winded than that. ;) and my memory isn't what it used to be, and I really want to document this entire experience.
Our church serves dinner on Wednesday nights, it's a time for fellowship and wonderful food, and at $3 per person, and you can't beat the price for sure! Several months ago, probably late August, I was getting another nail taken out of my tire (Southern Tire loves me, because I am a photographer, who will fearlessly pull my Durango over anywhere...I repeat ANYWHERE for a photo op!). While there, I notice the guy has an awesome flat-top hair cut, which Joey had been wanting. I asked him who cuts his hair, get the referral, Joey goes, gets the hair cut, it looks awesome....Back to dinner at the church, the first night he had his new doo, some guy who also sports a really short hair cut comes up and comments on how great Joey's hair looks, asks who cuts it, if he's in law enforcement (because he just holds himself that way now) and that he thinks his haircut is called "high and tight" and they start talking... well this blossoms into the two of them having conversations over the last 5-6 months every time we see him around church and him seeing us out at dinner on a date (Mexican yum) and coming over and talking to us for about 45 mins. He's a super friendly guy and Joey and him seem to have connected, similar age, haircut, I mean what else do men connect over? Emotions? ha!
So, last night while we were eating, Joey nudges my leg, pulls my arm towards him, and then nods towards the next table.
AND THERE SHE IS! The sweetest sleeping little foster baby girl in the world, from the nursery... in her car seat wrapped snugly in pink blankets with bunnies dangling above her sleeping preciousness! My heart melted all over again, and Joey gives me a little smile which follows my "awwwww she's soooooooooooo precious!" She is all I saw. Thoughts of her consumed my mind again. And I thanked God for me seeing her again.
We go to the service which was about 8 revelations in scripture of why God is good. It was really good, filled with His Word and examples of why He is good, and proof that He wants to give good gifts to His children because of His deep relentless affection for us, the masterpieces of all His creation. Parent-child relationship.
After the service, Joey went to pick Pate up from Youth Group in another building, and I darted into the bathroom. When I come back into the lobby to wait on Joey and Pate, I see his hair cut buddy in the lobby, *yes he has a name, it's Mark* our eyes meet, we smile say, Hi as I walk over to speak......and then I see the pink blanket and bunnies hanging from the car seat he is holding!
HE IS HER FOSTER DAD!
If I could insert chill bumps and tears here I would. I mean, so often I put God in this space and confine Him to my SMALL little mind----thoughts of what "I think" He may be doing, what I think He is up too, and working on in me, around me, with me...and then He just blows me out of the atmosphere with how big He is in reality and in comparison to where my small thinking sometimes puts Him. I am blown away at how He orchestrates every detail of our lives with such intent. How He places people and things in our paths to prepare us for what He has planned. [Good gifts that He wants to give His children.]
I then tell him about holding her, and I start the conversation with him about foster parenting, asking questions, how long? how is it? how did it start? Then Pate and Joey come up, and then his wife comes up. I tell her that she and her baby girl, have inspired me to inquire about the foster parenting classes, I told her everything, how it broke my heart, how I cried for the baby, the mama, and for her. How I had prayed for God to break my heart months ago, and I that I believe I have found what my heart breaks for in His kingdom. She was so excited and encouraging and teared up with me at points of the conversation.
I also explained to her, that we are trying to pray about it and clearly hear His voice and not just jump in, (plus the whole WA thing I didn't bring up because my mom was standing there and already in enough shock since she knew none of this!!! I didn't want to send her into too much information overload meltdown in the church lobby) and she (the foster mom--who has a name also, Sherri) offered for she and Mark to start praying for us as well as we consider this.
(I do want to remember and point out however during my conversation with her, and this got Joey's attention too, how if I thought this was my will, and my wanting...I would want a tiny baby like her (Ali), thus why I work in the infant nursery..I love little babies...LOVE THEM LOVE THEM LOVE THEM!--but God is speaking older children, ones that others aren't wanted as often as the tiny cute ones to my heart in this whole thing...that's how I know it's His plan being written on my heart, not my plan being written by me!)
(also another God moment-Brian our Preacher used the the analogy of orphans standing in a line and being passed over because they are too old, not as cute etc as younger ones in his service this same night--and that God chose us! Individually, we were all in that line and He handpicked and chose each one of us)
I won't replay the entire conversation because 30-45 minutes worth of talking is a whole lotta typing. But it was wonderful, informative, heartbreaking and encouraging! Joey was there and he was actively involved and attentive in the conversations and when we got to the car he held my hand and looked at me with eyes that echoed it as he said he loved me. In the real way they say it, when they mean it, and it's tender and heartfelt...not while running out the door in the morning or before collapsing from exhaustion in the bed at night-Love you, love you too! ((Yes he means it then, but you ladies know what I mean)). The real, looking at you through clear eyes and realizing something new or awesome about you, "I love you".
God placed someone Joey already knew and felt comfortable talking too, (he's not as much of an extrovert as me) with wisdom and experience in our paths at the exact right moment. LORD I'M AMAZED BY YOU I shout from the rooftops with lifted arms in awe and praise!
So, we decided we are going to invite them over for dinner so we can talk more about their experiences (they have been doing this for 7 years) and so I can hold that sweet baby again ;)
ps...in the car on the way home my mom told me the horror story of how someone she knew fostered children before and after 2 years they had the baby ripped away from them and never recovered, it was the most horrid experience ever, like losing your own child..... (see why I don't want to go public with things like this yet?) My mom is a good person, and I love her, and don't get me wrong I'm not talking bad about her...but I knew she would be the first of many non-supportive or non-understander's of this journey. Just like my pregnancy with Payton, we didn't tell ANYONE until I was about 5 months preggers and had to, we wanted to live in our happy bubble with happiness and joy without the naysayers negativity! Therefore, I wanted to keep it hush hush for now, but I really felt like last night happened for a reason and was a Divine intervention in our lives and I didn't care who was listening. :)
Lord-just continue to open doors of opportunity and open hearts and continue putting people in our path for Your will to be done in this. And continue to break my heart for what breaks yours. Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment