when dreams/callings collide...

Wow.  What a week this has been!!  Soooo many emotions!  Thinking of everything that has been stirring my heart/head already and now there is something very major on another front that may (or may not) put the breaks on the foster parenting classes that we would need to sign up for in Feb.

As anyone reading this blog knows (because I have only shared the link with 6 people) Joey went through BLET and his certification is about to run out (April).  He hasn't been hired by an agency yet, due to him being honest about past drug use.  (some agencies have suggested he lie, but he wont--and I am so proud of him for that!!!)

Even though it was in high school/early twenties.  He has had one agency tell him they would give him a chance when they have openings come up in July...which is promising, but its also after his certification runs out.  Which means he would either have to go though 8 months of night BLET training again (which I don't know if he would do), or if the agency would hire him and pay for him to go through it again while being paid during the day.  This is what my blog on Xanga giving it to God was about.  We have worried and stressed and been so confused and angry and confused. (And I have been heartbroken watching him get back rejection letter after rejection letter)


I truly believe his calling to go into law enforcement was from the Lord.
If you knew my husband and saw the changes in him you would too.
There are too many things that were blessed and touched by God about the whole school thing from how well he did, which was beyond God's grace because he was EXHAUSTED, worked the hardest, drove the furtherest to get to class home each night, yet he excelled to the top of the class.  He barely passed high school but had the highest GPA and had a 4.0 in college level material.  God was there.
I honestly believe God has a plan (He always has, we are just impatience and see things only in this world...)  We don't understand how or why God's plan is the way it is, but I know and have known all along (even though I did need some reminding (A LOT) along the way.  It's God's calling and timing and will.
I think He is moving in this situation now.

I have a friend from high school I have reconnected with via facebook, his story is very very very very similar to Joey's, except he had the calling earlier and got into law enforcement earlier in life.   Someone knew his past history and they gave him a chance and now he is very high up the ladder in law enforcement.  I have been in touch with him over the past year him checking in asking how the job search is going, us asking him advice along the way, he even called and put in a good word for Joey at he agency here that is willing to give him a chance in July.  He is now a Christian as well and his heart has been tender for Joey even though they have never even met because he knows, he has been in that same boat. 

Well, Chris posted awhile back on my facebook "we may be hiring soon", I posted back "I may seriously send my husband out there!!!"  It was kind of in jest, but letting him know, that nothing has happened here still.

He called me Friday night, there really is an opening, and he is in a position to possibly help Joey be hired, so he forwarded us a link to the job description and gave me directions to tell Joey how to apply.


AWESOME!!! RIGHT??? AWESOME!!!


It's in Washington... and I'm not talking DC...  

Washington State.  Like 100% as far away from NC as you can possibly get across the country without getting wet.  Joey and I live within 1 mile of the high school we went to, one block from his dad, 4 minutes from my brother and 10 from my mom.  That's how far away we have ever moved.

The thing I do know.  God is in control, and I'll follow God anywhere.  (Joey too...I kinda like him) ;)

{When the three of us sat in the floor and prayed over Joey's job situation just this week it was because of a sermon we had just heard.  In the sermon, the preacher even said, he has seen people hold on to things with gripped fists unwilling to fully trust God to handle it, and when they finally finally surrender it to God, he has seen so many times in his 30 years of preaching, God move within a week or sometimes a day over something that people had been giving to God--(but not really then taking it back) for months or years even.  The sermon was AMAZINGGGGGG and made us all pray a new prayer over Joey's job.  And we all had been at such peace this whole week. (poor little Payton had even been worrying about her daddy getting a job).  But we truly agreed and gave it to Him and walked away with such a sweet peace.}

As soon as I hung up the phone with Chris (when he called to tell me to tell Joey to seriously apply if he would consider it after he looked a the job description) and JUST AS I told Joey the last of the details Chris had told me...as SOON as the words came out of my mouth, --the car was SILENT the radio was silent....and I'm sure Joey and I were in deep thought because that's alot to absorb and in the dark silence driving home-----Then this song started playing out of the silence on KLove in the car.

"Oh,what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth"

It brought me to tears.


Later Joey and I were talking about it and the possibility of this really happening.
I told him, he would never have considered applying for a job across the country, had he been hired already, and maybe this was God's way of opening a door of opportunity (that we had just prayed for last week) that otherwise you would've NEVER seriously considered. Ever.

I have told him all along because he has only applied locally (VERY LOCALLY) to put in applications everywhere within driving range at least an hour away and (he hasn't listened to me), to which I question him, "How can God put you where he wants you--- if you don't apply where He wants you???"  I know it has to be hard having 6 out of 8 places you have applied reject you already, but he also hasn't applied to over at least 30 agencies I am sure he could.  I think it was kind of like the blog Amber wrote about Emma, I think he thought it would be more fun.  I think we all thought he would graduate and be scooped up or get to choose where he wanted to go because everyone we know in law enforcement was amazed at how well he did.  ((they didn't take his honesty and skeletons in the closet into account)) neither did we, we assumed he did so well and that "past" was so long ago, it would be overlooked.


I'm sorry to be so long winded, this is something that's been going on that I didn't want to share details on Xanga with everyone, but with you ladies, I feel more accepted to really pour out my heart...and it may affect the reason I started this blog.

But the bottom line to this blog today,

Joey applied for the job. 

Which he may or may not get.  Hopefully, we will know before the middle of February, before the foster parenting classes start, but if not.  I will put my dream/calling/whatever is tugging at my heart on hold for his.  I don't want to start classes and find out we may be moving in the middle of them...

Or HE MAY BE MOVING in the middle of them    :O

I guess everything just kind of got further up in the air than it was.


But I'm going with Jesus all the way.  I will still be going wherever he takes me, even if there are a few detours. 
I know the calling in my heart is real. And I also know now, to totally trust God's timing.   

This morning in the shower I was thinking (because my mind never seems to want to stop even in the shower)...

I was thinking if Joey does get this job and he moves to Washington State (temporarily--he would go first at least 6 months alone to make sure he likes it and that is where he wants to be before we would give up our home and family here) I will spend that time without him here to pour more time into these two little sweet boys that are already in my life.  I need to do that no matter what happens with any of this other stuff anyway!

Here is a picture of their sweetness at the beach this past summer!

ps...this is a Federal job, with Federal training, pay and benefits it's an INCREDIBLE opportunity for someone with no experience.  Something I can only see God making happen, if it happens. ;)

Thank you for reading, and for your comments on my last post, I figured out how to comment back but I don't think it notifies you...I am still learning how to use this site.  Thank you so much for your support and Love!  I truly thank God for placing each of you in my life.

m