God got us into this...and surely He will be with us through it ; )

When I was singing along the words to "I will praise you in this storm" earlier this week
on the ride into work and the lines:

"I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you" (it was pouring rain)
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away."  (my hand was raised)

those last two lines brought immense thick uncontrollable hot tears quickly pouring down my face like the rain on my windshield was....

and as I wept I looked up and I whispered..."are you trying to give me a head's up?"
because my heart was so pierced by the thought of her leaving.

ever.
but sooner than later..even more painful to think of.

We were waiting on a paternity test and the results are in.
He is her dad.
and he has an aunt and uncle he prefers her to be placed with.

We met the aunt in the visitation meeting on Monday and she was very maternal and really good with Isabel...I walked away with a peace
and a resolve...
that IF he was her dad
and IF he wanted to be a part of her life...
maybe it would be better for her to be with them...

Now that this may really happen...
I can't say I haven't had a few sharp knife in the chest pangs come and go...
But I know...

God has her.

And us.

And that I will praise Him in the storm...and in the sunshine
no matter which way this goes.

The aunt and uncle still have to undergo home inspections and background/financial checks like we did...
so we aren't talking about her leaving tomorrow.
But we are talking leaving sooner that we had thought.
We assumed from all we had heard prior to these results we may have her until at least January...as a minimum.

Just found out a few hours ago...
and all I can think is how Great is our God
my employer has fall break Monday and Tuesday,
so I get to be home with her 4 days straight, just like when we first got her.
But this time, with her healthy and happy.  ; )

And I know now the cherish each and every moment even more than  I have been, if that's even possible.
And to thank God for the time we still have her.
and that she has brought me closer to HIM
and even more so today than yesterday.

I think I knew,
deep down...
today my facebook thankful status already said earlier this morning...
"and that no matter the future, today is enough because He has blessed us with it"

and that's true.  She has been such a blessing to our home and our lives...
she has truly been a gift from Him.
and will continue to be no matter where she is.

Happy fall break weekend!

Miss Isabel~Melts my Heart

It's been about 4 weeks.
She has melted every heart she comes in contact with.

Ours is mush.

We have enjoyed her so immensely there really aren't words to write on a blog to describe it.
We had a visitation with the potential father yesterday.

I have peace.
That surpasses not only understanding, but Melissa.  It's surreal and crazy and
NOT.OF.THIS.WORLD.

but oh He does promise to be there with you, when you are walking with Him.
and I feel closer to Him than ever.
and this whole story gives me a chance to DAILY to testify of Him
and His
goodness
mercy
promise
plans
peace
love
joy
kindness
patience

all those fruits.... ; )

Isabel is still the best baby ever and not just a foster mom brag there.
Daycare workers are amazed by her
family and friends as well...
Here are a few of the things we've been up to lately...and I realized while uploading these...

WE HAVE CHUNKED THIS BABY UP!!!

she is starting to notice her hands, hold up her head really good, blow spit bubbles, reach for objects and knows our voices <3

God has blessed us sooo much more than we deserve.  If He never did another thing for me again, between my husband the two girls of ours and now this time with this precious one, if we never received another blessing, it was so much more than I could ever have dreamt of.

Payton is becoming so much more comfortable holding her, she has even changed some diapers now too.

We are praying each day for God's will in her life and ours.

The story is already written, He already knows His plans, and they are for good, prosperous and we trust Him

more now than ever I think...

because of this peace.

He is with me now more than ever before in my life.

And He is with her because every single time I talk to her about God and Jesus, she lights up like the Northern lights....it's humbling and amazing.