Last Wednesday our world changed forever...
I don't know how long we will have the precious little life God has blessed our home with, but I know our hearts will hold her forever.
Isabel is one of the best babies I've ever seen.
She literally only cries when she is wet, hungry, or wants me ; ) (the rest of my family is not as happy about that last one as I am, but I couldn't be more thrilled) :D
She came to us around 8:30, she was delivered by a big burly country man (and when I say country that's pretty bad, because I'm not a city girl) (he's a social worker that works nights when children can't be located during the day which was the case), Wed night in the pouring down rain, Joey went out to the car with an umbrella to help bring her in and about 10 minutes and 2 "delivery" signatures later, there we sat with very little information.
About a very little cutie.
Suddenly at 8:30 on a Wednesday evening, we had a most beautiful dark haired, olive skinned, deep gray-blue eyed baby with us, with a terrible cold and having no idea how much or when to feed her, or anything about her schedule.
I immediately wanted to bathe her, since it was about bedtime (maybe I had no idea of her schedule) so, I sat her in the sink on a towel and gave her a bath, thank goodness for travel size baby shampoos that was under my bathroom cabinet for this very moment, and yard sale children/baby clothes I had picked up over the summer in various size/gender selections....just in case. She loved the bath and has every single night since (she likes it alot more with the baby bathtub though ;) as do I, it was a little hard with a wet tiny 9lb baby on a towel in a sink, but she was so happy to get clean.
I got her cleaned up and made her a 4 oz bottle since she had 4 of the small sized bottles come with her and 4 cans of 2 different kinds of formula all almost empty....I just guessed, because she was eating her hand like she was starving, so I guessed she was maybe eating 4 ounces, thus the small 5 oz size bottles. Some were preemie formula so we assumed she was a preemie and she seemed really small for 3 months. Kaylin fed her the first bottle as I was racing around trying to get "stuff situated"....toddler bed out, changing table opened and stocked, making a list of things we needed, and doing the laundry and washing the car seat cover that came with her.
She loved her bath and after a bottle she went to sleep and slept until 3:30am. And even then, after another bottle and clean diaper she was right back to sleep until 7:30 am.
When she first went to sleep Wed night, I left her sleeping on Joey to run out and buy some newborn essentials, (like a bathtub!!! burp clothes, socks, baby wash, wash cloths, towels, a soft blanket etc.... things we needed and didn't have)
You just don't realize until you have an infant all the sudden, how much you don't have.
She also came with prescription medicine that we couldn't give her, because we can't give her anything without a Doctor's specific written consent for us to do so. So, the next day I was on the phone with social workers over 3 hours trying to figure out how much and when she was really used to eating, if and where I could take her to the doctor for her cold and raspiness, and for permission to give her her medicine if she needed it (which she didn't).
A trip to Kmart to for a few clothes, diapers, & formula and a trip to the doctor office all Thursday, left me realizing I needed a diaper bag desperately and to get back in the swing of juggling everything but the kitchen sink for a quick trip in wal-mart or the likes (I had to run in and buy a new shirt before I took her to the doctor, because she is a slobber baby..I mean a SLOBBER baby...but I love it, it's the sweetest slobber ever, but I looked like I lactated from the top of my shoulder over my sleeve down to the top of my chest).
The doctor praised me and said I was doing an amazing job and that she couldn't believe how natural we were together considering I'd just gotten her the night before, and I really needed to hear that, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and nervous going from zero to baby in less than 6 hours.
And I thanked God. She really did seem/has seemed to bond with me, trust me, & feel comfortable with me very quickly, I have heard hard stories of terror and screaming for hours on end.
Back home with "little noses" and a humidifier, Isabel and I spent the rest of the day together. She sleeps a lot during the day, part of her being so tiny I guess.
That night I had 2 friends (one Ali's mom the foster baby who started this all, and Jackie, the younger friend from church & photography that I wrote about on my other blog about the bond between the 2 of us that was so wonderful and unexpected all at the same time) the two of them came and filled our house and it literally looked like Babies-R-Us exploded. Jackie's little girl is 3 and she had 5 baby showers while pregnant with her and was overly blessed and she shared that with us.
Within 24 hours of getting Isabel, she had a swing, car seat, bouncy seats, diaper genie, wipe warmer (OH.MY.WORD!!! How awesome, they didn't have those when my girls were babies), more clothes than she will ever be able to wear before she out grows them *and alot of them with tags still on them*, a bucket full of bottles, bottle drying racks, and a playpen/bassinet for our room with a changing table on the end (because boy that crib and room on the exact far opposite side of the house from ours sure does seem so far away with a little baby wayyyyyyy down there, even though Jackie also brought me a video baby monitor system where I can watch her sleep and hear her in another room too (and I feel like there is more I am leaving out).
God blesses me so much.
He is so good to provide for this sweet child.
and us with her...
She has brought such joy to our hearts already.
Friday, we had the in home placement inspection with the social worker and had questions answered and found out more information, got more of an idea about time lines, and got our daycare vouchers.
Friday was spent mostly just loving on Isabel and Joey, Payton and I went and registered her at daycare. : (
Saturday I had 2 photo shoots already scheduled (BOO!!!!) and Joey's working nights right now and he needed to sleep so my mom came and helped Payton watch her while I went to those.
and the whole time....
I couldn't wait to be home.
Joey and Payton and Kaylin all adore her.
It's truly something of God...
I have been told by several, the way
she seems so naturally fit into our world...
It is the perfect first placement, I couldn't have asked God for anything more perfect.
Sunday we had the nursery at church for the 9am service so I had to go (otherwise I most likely would have stayed home with her)
So the cat is "kind-of" out of the bag...
With an older child, I really don't think anyone would really have asked
but me carrying a baby carrier, when
last Sunday I obviously wasn't pregnant.... ; )
there were so many questions and
there was little to be said
other than
She's our foster daughter.
<3 that we love and that
She's a precious gift from God.
Dropping her at daycare this morning
was hard.
I felt like she got comfortable with me,
and THEN I left her.
It was worse than hard...it was pretty horrible.
Just as I was starting to cry in my car,
Sherry, Ali's mom called me to see how I did dropping her off...
can I just say I love God and the people he places in our lives, I talked to her the rest of the ride into work.
I have since had 2 emails checking on me as well. :)
and now I am just taking it one day at a time,
falling more in love with her each day
and trusting God to do what is His will
and to give me the strength to be ok with whatever that is.
We have visitation with the mom on Tuesday.
Prayers are appreciated, she isn't happy, and didn't want to have anything to do with us
other than she did send word of how much and how often the baby needed to eat the Thursday afternoon after we got her.
I am really hoping that will change with this meeting...
I hope she will see we aren't threatening or judgemental, that we just want to help take care of Isabel and love her the best we can, until she (the mom) can again.
Then we have court on Wednesday, which should give us some idea of how long Isabel may be with us at least for the first stages of this process.
For right now, I am so at peace, so content, I feel like I am exactly where I should be doing what I was made for. After years at a job I feel less than needed or worthy at (so my kids can go to college free) I can't tell you how wonderful it feels to be doing the job I truly think my heart was created for...caring for HIS.
I should be terrified probably. But there is a peace that surpasses not only understanding, but human reason even.
I am so blessed He chose THIS PATH for us.
I am so blessed to go home to ALL of my family, which now includes this precious little bean below for now...in just a few short hours
