God got us into this...and surely He will be with us through it ; )

When I was singing along the words to "I will praise you in this storm" earlier this week
on the ride into work and the lines:

"I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you" (it was pouring rain)
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away."  (my hand was raised)

those last two lines brought immense thick uncontrollable hot tears quickly pouring down my face like the rain on my windshield was....

and as I wept I looked up and I whispered..."are you trying to give me a head's up?"
because my heart was so pierced by the thought of her leaving.

ever.
but sooner than later..even more painful to think of.

We were waiting on a paternity test and the results are in.
He is her dad.
and he has an aunt and uncle he prefers her to be placed with.

We met the aunt in the visitation meeting on Monday and she was very maternal and really good with Isabel...I walked away with a peace
and a resolve...
that IF he was her dad
and IF he wanted to be a part of her life...
maybe it would be better for her to be with them...

Now that this may really happen...
I can't say I haven't had a few sharp knife in the chest pangs come and go...
But I know...

God has her.

And us.

And that I will praise Him in the storm...and in the sunshine
no matter which way this goes.

The aunt and uncle still have to undergo home inspections and background/financial checks like we did...
so we aren't talking about her leaving tomorrow.
But we are talking leaving sooner that we had thought.
We assumed from all we had heard prior to these results we may have her until at least January...as a minimum.

Just found out a few hours ago...
and all I can think is how Great is our God
my employer has fall break Monday and Tuesday,
so I get to be home with her 4 days straight, just like when we first got her.
But this time, with her healthy and happy.  ; )

And I know now the cherish each and every moment even more than  I have been, if that's even possible.
And to thank God for the time we still have her.
and that she has brought me closer to HIM
and even more so today than yesterday.

I think I knew,
deep down...
today my facebook thankful status already said earlier this morning...
"and that no matter the future, today is enough because He has blessed us with it"

and that's true.  She has been such a blessing to our home and our lives...
she has truly been a gift from Him.
and will continue to be no matter where she is.

Happy fall break weekend!