And although I have listened to the song "You're not Alone" about 4500 times since then, I did manage to let the cd play through and there was another song that just spoke volumes to me right now. I had a whole sermon go on in my heart today over that song. I reversed and listened to the beginning of it about 25 times today, (yes I'm a little ocd when I like something)... Here are the lyrics, and it's the 2nd song on my real player at the bottom of the page.
Deeper by Meredith Andrews
I've been wading
In shallow water
You're the ocean
I am after
And I wanna go
Oh I wanna go with You
Break the silence
With Your whisper
Take my hand and
Pull me under
'Cuz I wanna go
Oh I wanna go with You
Take me deeper
Take me deeper
To where You are
That I may find You
Take me further
Take me further
Than where I've been
I wanna be with You
Be with You, oh
Settling for
What my eyes see
Help me believe
Help me break free
'Cuz I wanna go
Oh I wanna go with You
Take me deeper
Take me deeper
To where You are
That I may find You
Take me further
Take me further
Than where I've been
I wanna be with You
Be with You, oh
Take me through the desert places
For the chance to see Your face
Take me past the breaking waves
Into the depth of Your embrace
Take me deeper
Take me deeper
To where You are
That I may find You
Take me further
Take me further
Than where I've been
I wanna be with You
Take me deeper
Take me deeper
To where You are
That I may find You
Take me further
Take me further
Than where I've been
I wanna be with You
Be with You, oh
~I've been wading In shallow water You're the ocean I am after and I wanna go oh I wanna go with You~
wow. if this isn't my hearts cry. but even with the real ocean, there is a hesitation, there is a fear....a fear of the unknown, fear of the harm that "could come", a fear of bodily harm (even if it is from a critter that is just as scared as you and only trying to protect itself--you go in the ocean there are critters that sting and bite and cut and kill) in this walk there's gonna be a fear of a scar or a scare or a hurt....the unknown...and it's so big...but so is my God.
listening to these words today over and over...I admit it, I know it, I have been wading in shallow water with God, I've been standing where I can still see my toes and (what may be lurking beneath) with my Holy Sovereign Lord. I've also been doing it in a way that is very comfortable for me and being real honest here....not requiring a lot of faith, because it's not uncomfortable, it's not stretching me or growing me...and THAT VERY FAITH is what my entire relationship with Jesus is based on. Is dabbling my toes in enough? No, Most definitely not. Not anymore. Not now that I realize I've been doing it. I think God is growing my heart in a way that it can't be enough...
not anymore.
my thoughts are being consumed with compassion. with heartbreak. with want...a desire to change lives for the better...want to put HIM FIRST and ME LAST....want to make a difference, and not a difference to just myself or my family, to someone else, and to Jesus.
A difference that when I stand before Him he will be able to say something more like Matt 25:21 “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’ VERSES....well done, you were saved and then you sat around enjoying the place, time and conveniences you were privileged to be born into and waited fore me to get back. (Please know I am not putting words into Mighty Jesus mouth I am just explaining how I see my life right now).
I am questioning why I wasn't awakened to this passion for getting involved in His Kingdom before now, but I know...He's been getting me ready for it. He's been preparing my heart these past 5 years. He's been teaching me softly, pulling me gently, molding me with His very own precious mighty hands. Getting my heart ready for something bigger.
~Something bigger than myself
~Something bigger than sending $30 a month to World Help to sponsor a child
~Something bigger than my own little world revolving around comfort
~Something bigger than only giving my time to the Christmas cheer boys when it's convenient to me
(I'm getting them this weekend btw...and more often from now on) ; ) I mean, my reason or excuse as of late had been. someone in my house was sick with a horrible cold the past month....yesterday God spoke to my heart...if your foster child was sick, you wouldn't send them away, if you are sick you don't not see Payton, (yep I was an English major and that was totally a double negative!) That has been a convenient excuse to live in your sheltered little world, laying on the couch watching movies or relaxing or reading or whatever you are doing with your weekends??? These boys need attention, they need time, they need love...that takes effort, and if you aren't willing to do that with them, what makes you feel compelled to try and foster a child that may need even more? (that part I know wasn't from God, but it did convict me)
As I listened to the words of the song today...I thought about those boys. I thought about them, the first time they saw the ocean. I thought about how they RAN TOWARDS THE OCEAN...arms flailing about, screams like girls, mouths smiling wider than I have ever seen
take me further take me further than where I've been~
Matthew 18:2-3 He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven
Lord I want to run to YOUR ocean like Nick and Ty. I want to stop wading in shallow water. I want you to take me deeper. I want to have the faith of a small child and run to You excited with my arms in the air surrendered and eager to be Your hands where ever you place me here and now. I want to be more like You. I want to continue to be broken for what You are broken for. I want to fearlessly give up me and run into the ocean fearless.
In shallow water
You're the ocean
I am after
And I wanna go
Oh I wanna go with You
Break the silence
With Your whisper
Take my hand and
Pull me under
'Cuz I wanna go
Oh I wanna go with You
Take me deeper
Take me deeper
To where You are
That I may find You
Take me further
Take me further
Than where I've been
I wanna be with You
Be with You, oh
Settling for
What my eyes see
Help me believe
Help me break free
'Cuz I wanna go
Oh I wanna go with You
Take me deeper
Take me deeper
To where You are
That I may find You
Take me further
Take me further
Than where I've been
I wanna be with You
Be with You, oh
Take me through the desert places
For the chance to see Your face
Take me past the breaking waves
Into the depth of Your embrace
Take me deeper
Take me deeper
To where You are
That I may find You
Take me further
Take me further
Than where I've been
I wanna be with You
Take me deeper
Take me deeper
To where You are
That I may find You
Take me further
Take me further
Than where I've been
I wanna be with You
Be with You, oh
~I've been wading In shallow water You're the ocean I am after and I wanna go oh I wanna go with You~
wow. if this isn't my hearts cry. but even with the real ocean, there is a hesitation, there is a fear....a fear of the unknown, fear of the harm that "could come", a fear of bodily harm (even if it is from a critter that is just as scared as you and only trying to protect itself--you go in the ocean there are critters that sting and bite and cut and kill) in this walk there's gonna be a fear of a scar or a scare or a hurt....the unknown...and it's so big...but so is my God.
listening to these words today over and over...I admit it, I know it, I have been wading in shallow water with God, I've been standing where I can still see my toes and (what may be lurking beneath) with my Holy Sovereign Lord. I've also been doing it in a way that is very comfortable for me and being real honest here....not requiring a lot of faith, because it's not uncomfortable, it's not stretching me or growing me...and THAT VERY FAITH is what my entire relationship with Jesus is based on. Is dabbling my toes in enough? No, Most definitely not. Not anymore. Not now that I realize I've been doing it. I think God is growing my heart in a way that it can't be enough...
not anymore.
my thoughts are being consumed with compassion. with heartbreak. with want...a desire to change lives for the better...want to put HIM FIRST and ME LAST....want to make a difference, and not a difference to just myself or my family, to someone else, and to Jesus.
A difference that when I stand before Him he will be able to say something more like Matt 25:21 “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’ VERSES....well done, you were saved and then you sat around enjoying the place, time and conveniences you were privileged to be born into and waited fore me to get back. (Please know I am not putting words into Mighty Jesus mouth I am just explaining how I see my life right now).
I am questioning why I wasn't awakened to this passion for getting involved in His Kingdom before now, but I know...He's been getting me ready for it. He's been preparing my heart these past 5 years. He's been teaching me softly, pulling me gently, molding me with His very own precious mighty hands. Getting my heart ready for something bigger.
~Something bigger than myself
~Something bigger than sending $30 a month to World Help to sponsor a child
~Something bigger than my own little world revolving around comfort
~Something bigger than only giving my time to the Christmas cheer boys when it's convenient to me
(I'm getting them this weekend btw...and more often from now on) ; ) I mean, my reason or excuse as of late had been. someone in my house was sick with a horrible cold the past month....yesterday God spoke to my heart...if your foster child was sick, you wouldn't send them away, if you are sick you don't not see Payton, (yep I was an English major and that was totally a double negative!) That has been a convenient excuse to live in your sheltered little world, laying on the couch watching movies or relaxing or reading or whatever you are doing with your weekends??? These boys need attention, they need time, they need love...that takes effort, and if you aren't willing to do that with them, what makes you feel compelled to try and foster a child that may need even more? (that part I know wasn't from God, but it did convict me)
As I listened to the words of the song today...I thought about those boys. I thought about them, the first time they saw the ocean. I thought about how they RAN TOWARDS THE OCEAN...arms flailing about, screams like girls, mouths smiling wider than I have ever seen
ELATED ECSTATIC EXCITED FEARLESS HEARTS!!!!
faith like little children huh?
~I've been wading In shallow water You're the ocean I am after and I wanna go oh I wanna go with You....Take me past the breaking waves into the depth of Your embrace take me deeper take me deeper to where You are that I may find Youtake me further take me further than where I've been~
Matthew 18:2-3 He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven
Lord I want to run to YOUR ocean like Nick and Ty. I want to stop wading in shallow water. I want you to take me deeper. I want to have the faith of a small child and run to You excited with my arms in the air surrendered and eager to be Your hands where ever you place me here and now. I want to be more like You. I want to continue to be broken for what You are broken for. I want to fearlessly give up me and run into the ocean fearless.
Listening to the song and tears are streaming down my face............
ReplyDelete"Break the silence - With Your whisper"
My first listen of her music and I am loving it. I have $10 iTunes cards just waiting to be used. Guess what one of the songs I am going to buy... THANKS FOR SHARING
I know TESSY! I love it too :) I think it's my new theme song for 2011~~ it brings me to tears as well.
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