Last night was the last last really truly last class. ; ) It was added on after our "graduation" due to the instructors schedules. (Mark & Sherry)---you know the foster parents of the foster baby who started this all. AmAzInG GOD!!!
I'm sitting here thinking about how big God is.
How BIG HE really is.
~Had we not worked in the nursery "that" Sunday.
~Had Sherry not said, "She's not ours she's our foster baby" in that first conversation...
~Had God not already prepared me and made a prayer form deep in my heart to break it for what breaks His.
~Had Mark & Sherry not been her foster parents, sparking Joey's interest by knowing Mark
~Had Joey not been touched too.
We wouldn't have been joking and laughing in class with the two of them last night, and I wouldn't have been holding this precious baby on the night of our last requirement before we begin this journey for ourselves...as her daddy taught us CPR and her mama showed us the albuteral machine.
SITTING IN THE LAST CLASS HOLDING THE BABY WHO STARTED IT ALL...
WOW GOD!! How amazingly awesome is He?
It was beyond precious seeing her little 6 month old body contort to try and stretch around and see her mama and daddy (the only ones she's ever known) because she KNOWS and heard their voices.
After instructing the class, they also shared the stories of their foster parenting experiences...
the other baby they had from 9 days old and they kept for 18 months....then she went home to her parents. (by the way---she was at the cookout with Mark & Sherry last week, they have stayed in touch with the birth parents and get her to babysit and celebrate birthday's etc still.
But, just for one moment imagine....having a child from birth to one and a half years old and then just sending that piece of your heart walking around outside your body (heard that phrase and boy ain't that the truth! because that's what your kids are) to another home...somewhere you aren't sure how they will be treated or cared for. And this is one of those times biological vs non-biological really doesn't matter....imagine waking every night with a child, being there for every feeding, kissing every boo boo, the first tooth, first time rolling over, every sickness, every fear, crawling, walking....every milestone of the child's first year and a half and them handing them off to someone else....
WOW.
dedication. joy. sacrifice. unconditional love. happiness. energy. time. pain.
All I can say is I have a peace. I have a peace that's not Melissa about all of this. Because Joey was right...from the very first comment in the nursery that first day...I can't do this.
I can't love a child and pour every ounce of love I can into them and then let them leave. : (
I can't.
But through God....and His strength and His promises and His unconditional love that has been poured out on me...I am going to because
He can.
If I was counting on myself for the future in this foster parenting walk, I would be completely chaotic and terrified and panicked right now, knowing that literally in one week...we are through. We are done with all of the inspections all of the approvals and then....
there will be a phone call.
there will be a child.
there will be a major life/home change
there will be hardships and heartbreaks
and I will be happy....because
I will be upheld
there will be Jesus. Right in the midst of this journey with us...there will be Jesus.
He will be our strength....and hopefully the children we have will learn to trust Him for this as well.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Ephesians 3:14-19
For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
Ephesians 6:10
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.
Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
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