Nearing the end

WOW.  I know I keep saying WOW but WOW.... can't believe we started in February and next Tuesday will be our last class.

We have all 3 had our physical's, I have my individual interview next week, Joey has bought the things needed for our fire inspection, Payton and I clean all of her things out of Kaylin's old closet Monday (Payton decided she wants to keep her room, instead of moving into the bigger one w/bigger closet), we are getting a borrowed bed back from a friend tomorrow to set up the "new" (photography studio/xbox) room and today at lunch I went and bought a lock box for our medicine "shelf" and our ninth (of 10) class was last night.

WOW.

Last nights class was basically catch up from two other things we missed (ecomaps and ceremonies) and a panel of guests (foster parents) and their foster children.

It made my heart just jump, celebrate and seep in so much joy watching these kids (young and old) with their foster parents (some turned adoptive parents) there were also biological children there talking about their experiences as foster-sisters/brothers which was good insight for me to talk to Payton about this morning. ; )   It wasn't sugar coated to give us a false representation, people talked about their struggles, but they also talked about the rewards.

The president of our local foster/adoptive parenting association was there as well, giving us information for events they sponsor and keeping our 10 hours of in-service training per year active.  We were all invited to start attending their monthly dinners, which I am excited about...because of the bonds I witnessed between these families.

But OH.MY.WORD. watching those kids, those kids that we have heard about and read about and acted out and hearing them speak about their foster parents (the ones that were old enough) or hearing them call mama/dada, or seeing the picture of the 10 month old that only weighted 10lbs when they got him, and NOW seeing him thriving......touched me.

There was a 15 year old girl who had been in 18 different homes, adopted and relinquished from adoption twice and there was her foster mom....her foster mom who told her from day one.  "I will not give you up...I will not let you go.  I will love you for you and I will not quit you!"  Listening to the two of them talk...it just....
it was like...

it really can't be described.

It was beautiful, and sad and wonderful, and inspiring and funny and so many different things...

It was love.

And that is what I am in this for.  Love.  Life changing, shaping, heartfelt love for children.

I already know, from our relationships with Nick and Tyriq---we are going to be so much more moved and touched, grown and shaped by this whole experience than the children will be. But in my heart, I can only hope that one day, some (or many) child(ren) somewhere can say that same thing about Joey and I, that we didn't give up on them.  That we loved them for them. And that we made a difference.

I can't wait to make new friends and meet new people as we go on this journey, last nights class was really awesome seeing the relationships between the foster parents/foster children from different families...they all know each other and are a real LARGER family/friend support system to each other.  The dynamics between the children and adults who are all different families was apparent after only moments, some of the younger children, going to older foster children or foster moms in other families to visit, because they knew them already.  It was exciting to see the networking and the bond these families have from walking the same path of fostering.

My heart is excited, my eyes are fixed on Him and His will, His work, His Healing, His guiding, His calling, His purpose. His plans.

HIS LOVE. 

God offered me that unconditional love.  Even when I didn't deserve it, even at times when I rejected it.  I know as long as He is in this with us...we can do all things through Him.  I want to be able to offer another hurting broken person that chance at a happier better more fulfilling life, through His love, His hands, His feet, His heart, and His compassion that has been growing in me.

And where better to offer this love that same kind of love that He gave me, than to a child, who hasn't had an easy start of life?

Mark 9:36-37  He took a little child whom he placed among them. Taking the child in his arms, he said to them, ³⁷ “Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me.”

Thank you so much Lord, for breaking me...for breaking my heart over and over these last few months, so that it may be ready to softly and tenderly receive others.